GEN McChrystal Applies For Job As New Homeland Security Secretary, Replacing Napolitano

(Editor’s Note: The original photo accompanying this story, showing GEN McChrystal fellating Beezlebub at a Beltway restaurant, was removed due to PERSEC considerations at the request of Beezlebub)

“I spent a career carrying typically either an M16 or an M4 Carbine. An M4 Carbine fires a .223 caliber round which is 5.56 mm at about 3000 feet per second. When it hits a human body, the effects are devastating. It’s designed for that,” McChrystal explained. “That’s what our soldiers ought to carry. I personally don’t think there’s any need for that kind of weaponry on the streets and particularly around the schools in America.”

Mama, I’m getting those mean ol’
Low-down pain in my soul, oh
Oathbreaking I’m hopin’ I’ll go now
Counterinsurgency blues…